How To Perform An Embryotomy (PG)

From A Vet Student's Perspective

This week in obstetrics we learnt how to do an embryotomy by practicing on dead calves from the abbatoir.

An embryotomy is basically an abortion done at full term on a fetus that is too large to deliver normally. In that case it is already dead before the procedure is done.

Step 1: "Load" the embryotome. A long metal pole that gets abrasive wire to form a loop.

Step 2: Insert the embryotome into the uterus and loop the abrasive wire around the head, neck, torso or limbs.

Step 3: Tighten the wire, keeping the tension on to prevent slippage.

Step 4: With one person holding the embryotome in place, another (preferably a strong muscleman) pulls on both ends with a rowing machine motion, alternating fast.

Step 5: Get rid of your gym membership, because if you have to be on the other end of an embyotome, who needs the gym?

Step 6: Once the wire has cut the offending body part by abrasion, pull it out.

Step 7: Admire nice handiwork, especially if the embryotome actually cut in a straight line across half a skull.

Step 8: Admire one's own biceps. As I said, who needs a gym when one can do embryotomies.