My Pinnae!

My EARS

Is it just me or are my ears becoming longer, sharper and pointier?

I know I like Legolas, but this is ridiculous. = )

Many people have asked me : "Sharon, how do you make your hair stand up like that?".

All will be answered in this hair-raising revelation...

How to Have Gravity-Defying Hair

Without Any Hair Product!

1) Get a short haircut on top. (1 to 2 inches seems to be the best length for "GDH" (gravity-defying hair).

2) Wash hair before going to sleep.

3) Roughly wring dry hair, preferably with a microfibre towel that absorbs more moisture. DO NOT RUB HAIR DRY. This will only serve to result in BHD. Bad Hair Day the next day.

4) Place a microfibre towel across your pillow under you hair and go to sleep. (No you will not get "wind" (chinese "feng") in your head unless you sleep under the bare elements or with a fan/air-conditioner blowing directly on you. I've done this almost everyday with no ill effect.)

5) Wake up the next morning and VOILA! The "just-got-out-of-bed-look" (literally) with no hair product and very little extra effort required.

All About My Posterior

I Like My Big Butt and I Cannot Lie

Yes, I have the Asian equivalent of J Lo's behind.

Which makes it one of the favourite parts of my body, but also makes it very difficult for me to find clothes that just fit, not even flatter, it properly.

The peasant skirts that are all the rage now? I cannot wear. My tush looks out of proportion to the rest of my body.

And I realise a lot of the clothes in Singapore are meant for small girls with no behinds.

And most of the clothes in Australia are meant for big girls with average behinds.

And I can't wear children's bottoms in Australia because there is simply no room for my tushy in them. (Children's clothes in Australia are amazingly miniature versions of adult's clothes. o_0

And there, is my bottom(less? more?) dilemma.

Darryl go shopping with me. Put your superior taste to work. Help me find nice bottoms! = D

Carry On

Because He Lives by William J Gaither

Because He lives
I can face tomorrow
Because He lives
All fear is gone
Because I know
I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living
Just because
He lives

My Irreverent Conspiracy Theories

Regarding Rabbits

Chrysanthemum tea is actually RABBIT PEE.
Go smell the fragrance of pee produced from fairly clean laboratory rabbits drinking distilled, autoclaved water and eating irradiated pellets. It smells exactly like chrysanthemum tea from a certain famous Singaporean can drink when it gets soaked up in ink-free newsprint. It MUST be rabbit pee because these rabbits produce SO MUCH of it. Tell me about it, I've been cleaning up after them for the past 2 days. All these rabbits do is woffle their pink noses at me. The only thing I haven't done is do a taste test. As yet my irreverent conspiracy theory shall still remain only a theory. = )

Expired SEAWEED sheets are converted into laboratory RABBIT FOOD pellets.
The unique smell.
The dark green colour.
I've been topping up their food too. And the smell of it really gives me a hankering to eat seaweed.
As yet, still just another unfounded conspiracy theory coming out of my head. = P

Stay tuned for more silly conspiracy theories...

Songs That Have Been Forever Ruined in My Mind

"Let me show you the shape of my BUTT" purposely ruined by Al from Shape of My Heart by the Backstreet Boys

"I don't wanna close by ASS" as misheard by Bing in the noisy dirty area from Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith

I will never be able to hear these songs without recalling their alternative versions.

And they all so happen to have references to the gluteus maximus. ; P

Priorities Too

Attempting to climb every molehill will result in a very big mess.

But the mountains will still remain.

Priorities

Don't miss the mountains for the molehills.

TIGER!!!

The Gecko-Hunter

My cat just caught what I thought was a moth off Al's door. I saw fluttering pale brown movements.

On closer inspection the pale brown object was a writhing TAIL and Meow Meow had a GECKO in his mouth. I thought it was dead and I didn't want him to eat it (lest he puked) so I grabbed him by the collar.

AND THE TAIL-LESS BUGGER RAN AWAY.

It's now hiding somewhere among assorted furniture, and Tiger is now intently eyeing the vicinity.

I don't want a gecko in my house, neither do I want my cat swallowing a gecko.

I hope he catches it when I see it so both scenarios don't occur.

There is an intruder gecko in my house now.

When I Really Needed Peace

My Heart Will Trust by Hillsongs

Though I walk through valleys low
I'll fear no evil
By the waters still my soul
My heart will trust in You

Sayings By Sharon

After spotting a patch of mimosa after lunch with colleagues

"MIMOSA! MIMOSA!"

After which I proceeded to stomp happily on the mimosa patch to see the leaves close up. = )

Hey I haven't done that since primary school. I've been a little deprived of things like that for a long long time.